yo peeps! juz got back bout an hour ago..... well, today i went shopping with my family.... haha.... was really surprised at myself for buying all those stuff.... it was cool.... for the first time in my life, i actually enjoyed shopping....when i was shopping for my stuff that is.... ahaha....

well, i'm very tired now..... and tmr i still have to wake up early for this leadership camp or something in school.... gosh.... i actually didn't want to go cause it will be disrupting the flow of my studies for the common tests but i have no choice.... well, who asked me to be the vice-pres****t of that club..... sigh..... still haven't finished packing my bag.... stupid siah, its like only 2 days 1 night thing.... don't know if you can call it a camp.... haha.... but i shall not be complaining bout it....

oh ya, that tiff managed to get back at me for putting up her photo up.... she also put up my photo on her blog.... damn.... haha.... well, we are even now.... no hard feelings k baby? hahaha.... what a babe man.... all my friends say you are one.... so accept it!!! haha.... ok, shall stop here.... i'll be back on tues evening.... PeAcE out everyone!!!


Riz lost himself at 8/29/2004 11:43:00 pm

0 comments

haha.... that's me and my friends trying to act cool....



this is the same pic on the left.... this is us trying our very best to look like bengs.... haha....

yea, we all took this pictures after our interviews.... it was damn cool.... oh yah, my interview went pretty well i think.... haha... there were some questions which stumped me but mostly, it was ok.... i'm so relieved that's its finally over.... and i finally managed to start on the visual basic project.... and its all thanks to david.... haha.... yea, thanks to a moment of brilliance from him, we managed to kick start our project, which has been hanging for quite some time.... brilliant man...

to leo, if you are reading this.... life's full of ups and downs.... so take it easy man.... its not the end of the world.... and stop talking bout suicide..... man, i juz hate that kind of stuff.... you should know better..... its juz not worth it.... stay cool man.... take care.... see ya soon bro....

and last but not least.....


this is my sweetie pie!!!! she's juz so sweet and gorgeous isn't she? but she keeps saying that she's not.... what only.... you are a BABE!!! hehe..... i think she's gonna kill me for this..... muahahaha.... but i don care.... woo hoo! sorry tiff, but i'm juz bored..... don kill me....


Riz lost himself at 8/27/2004 01:16:00 am

0 comments
feeling very tired now.... quite sleepy... haha... i've been reading the visual basic book that i borrowed from the library, trying to understand it.... but i can't seem to do it.... man, i really don't know how to start the sms project... this visual basic stuff is juz not for me.... haiz.... and most of my friends don't seem to know how to do it as well, so i really don't know who to ask for help..... well david, i totally depend on you now man.... haha....

i watched avp after school today with some of my friends..... and it was a damn terrible movie.... really disappointed in it.... i thought it was going to be some big explosive action movie but it turned out to be a wimpy movie in the end.... what crap.... there was a non existent storyline, and where were all the action?!!! haha.... well, i guess that's juz life.... you never know what to expect.... and the things that you expect to happen, juz doesn't happen.... instead something else does....

then two people from the seg club called me this afternoon.... one was from A&R and the other was from SSN... it seems that they were trying to get me down to vote for the candidate from their own section for tmr's seg's presidential election.... haha.... man, i feel like an important person... hehe.... but i turned both of them down.... i'm not even an important member of the club, so why should i vote for either one of their candidates.... and in the end, they will all chuck me aside after they are elected.... that's the seg club tradition.... haha.... anyway, i'll be heading down to the gym with my friends after school so i wouldn't be able to make it....

oh ya, peiyi told me that my interview is going to be damn tough.... damn scared now... why did i have to pick such a big company in the first place.... i guess this is retribution for the way i interviewed akil..... die man.... haha.... i'm stopping here now.... see ya!


Riz lost himself at 8/24/2004 11:51:00 pm

0 comments
dejected and disillusioned.... i juz don understand.....


Riz lost himself at 8/22/2004 12:09:00 am

0 comments
today my class had this mock interview session where all of us will be interviewed by this panel of interviewers in front of the whole class.... haha... it was cool.... we were all in our formal attire.... some people were dressed very nicely and it was pretty pleasant to the eyes.... well, my eyes actually.... hehe.... my group was the one who interviewed akil.... and akil was pretty mad at me after the interview, cause i was asking him some really tough questions.... in fact, my whole group was gunning him down.... and i really feel bad bout it now.... sorry man.... i really didn't mean to upset you..... sorry....

guess who i met yesterday when i was on my way home after my german club event? haha... it was none other than the blur queen herself, jasmine lee!!!! haha.... surprise, surprise.... hehe... yea, then we went home together.... we had a pretty nice chat on the bus.... and after we dropped at our bus stop, she got a call from kel.... haha.... and in the end, the both of us walked all the way to kovan to meet up with kel.... it was really funny how i haven met them both for awhile and then suddenly in one day, i met the both of them..... cool.... well, i'm going to stop here for now.... cheers!!


Riz lost himself at 8/20/2004 12:57:00 am

0 comments
she did it again..... zin tricked me.... why you little *@#!!!!! she's dead!! she's so so dead!!!!


Riz lost himself at 8/18/2004 01:45:00 am

0 comments
yo peeps!! today is my friend leonard's birthday.... well, we kinda had a small celebration for him at the end of the day and we all skipped the NE lesson for that.... hahaha.... i wonder what the NE lecturer was thinking when he saw all of us leaving the lecture theatre one by one.... haha.... during the so called celebration, we did really silly stuffs.... it was really funny man... well, happy birthday leo!!

yea, akil finally added "her" in his msn.... haha.... he's feeling quite nervous and worried.... don't worry man, she will definately accept you.... woo hoo!!! i'm damn happy for you dude!! hehe.... you are so charming, she won't be able to resist you.... although i'm still more charming than you.... ahem ahem.... haha... but don't worry, there's only one horse running in this race, there are no OTHER HORSES!!! i'm not like a certain bastard, who thinks he is so handsome that he joins so many races in one go.... and he expects to win all the time.... that bastard.... haha....

i'm still waiting for the reply.... i don't know why i'm so anxious.... its juz an sms... but still i feel anxious.... maybe i did too many things wrong that day that the perception of me changed completely.... crap.... or maybe i'm juz thinking too much.... it could be that.... or it could also mean that i have blown my chance away.... i was given a chance, but what did i do.... i took it so casually.... to put it simply, i juz wasn't prepared.... yes, it was my first time, but still that was no excuse for my casual attitude to the whole thing.... gosh, am i really thinking too much? please tell me that i am...... i think i'm gonna stop here for now... see ya...


Riz lost himself at 8/17/2004 10:59:00 pm

0 comments
juz got back bout 2 hours ago.... my so called "big day" turned out to be almost a disaster... it wasn't really that bad actually, but i could have done things much better and i totally it regret now.... even one of my friends laughed at me when i told him what happened.... bloody bastard.... people here already so stress, you still want to add more to the burden.... haha.... man, it was my first time... and this had to happen... sigh.... i wonder how tarnished my image is now... haha.... i really don't know what to expect from this.... a lot hints was given to me, i could really really feel it, but i didn't take advantage of it.... stupid riz! and at one point, something was said to me.... it really felt like a warning that i should buck up.... man, i was so stressed at that point of time.... man..... what the hell.... i think the situation is pretty grim now.... i don't know how to react now.... relax riz, relax.....

well, today i went for a run and then went to the gym with the guys as usual.... and beckham turn up late as expected... haha.... then after that, i went to PS to watch "the village" with a friend.... the movie.... well, what can i say bout it..... i juz feel that its such a funny movie..... haha... it was like so weird watching it.... i mean the way the movie was executed was cool and good.... but the storyline was funny..... especially the twist at the end.... i could not believe at what i was seeing..... and the best part is, my friend fell asleep during the movie.... man, what a waste of money.... haha.... then after the movie, we had dinner and ice-cream... haha.... i feel like a kid again.... i think i better stop here.... i feel my crappiness coming back..... hahaha..... chill peeps!!!



Riz lost himself at 8/14/2004 11:49:00 pm

0 comments
some friends have came up to me bout my previous entry.... really sorry to worry you peeps.... don't worry, it was juz a one off thing.... it is something really minor actually.... really sorry and thanks for your concern.... well, i still feel that i'm a bastard, but i don't really care anymore.... it's my life anyway.... if anyone wants to say anything, let them do so..... i'm not going to bother.... yea...

tmr will be quite a big day for me.... not really sure how i feel, but one thing's for sure, i'm damn bloody nervous.... what if i do something wrong.... i'm taking things one step at a time.... don't really know what is going to happen after tmr... hopefully things will turn out fine.... wish me luck peeps! haha....

well, juz now after school i went out for pool with my friends.... man, i was laughing so much at that bloody beckham's jokes that my stomach hurt.... haha... it's been a long time since i laughed so much.... i miss those days when i was still in my old class.... can still remember all the fun that we had together.... not forgetting all those stupid jokes from beckham and akil.... man, those two conbined can really bring the house down! haha.... its a great combo, beckham and akil.... those two bastards!! haha.... yea, but now we only see each other at certain lectures.... sad man.... but luckily we still keep in contact.... we do go out once in awhile like for dinner or for pool.... yea, by the way, i beat all of them in pool today.... muahahahaha.....

i feel quite happy now.... dunno why, but i think i've been smiling and laughing all day.... maybe i'm crazy.... haha..... i've been feeling like this ever since lunch today.... i think some people will know the reason..... hehe.... keep it to yourselves yah? hahaha..... didn't know that such a small thing can make me so happy.... i guess i'm really crazy.... that makes me a crazy bastard!! haha.... ok ok... i think i better stop now before i get any crappier.... cheers peeps!!


Riz lost himself at 8/13/2004 11:05:00 pm

0 comments
I'm such a bastard..... a big bastard at that.... what have i got myself into.... why did i do it.... why did i agree to it.... crap.... i'm a bastard..... bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard...... man, i'm scared and confused at the same time..... maybe its the guilt.... i feel guilty now..... arghh......... am i doing the right thing? or is this juz a big big mistake..... a timebomb waiting to happen, that's what this is.... damn you riz! why do you always have to get yourself into this type of situations.... why!! screw you riz, screw you!!!


Riz lost himself at 8/12/2004 12:42:00 am

0 comments
yo! let me briefly update ya peeps a little about what happened the past few days.... i had a pretty good saturday... haha... yea....i felt that the day was well spent.... in the afternoon, me and my friends went to gym for some cool workout... haha... yea, but before i met them, i actually went for a run first myself.... Don't know what came over me.... muz be the post napfa syndrome... haha... we really worked out man.... it was a fantastic feeling.... then later in the afternoon, akil and i went to cuppage plaza to meet kel, leon, cj and zhiyong where they were playing pool.... they were playing doubles, and when akil and i came, we beat every single one of them..... woo hoo..... it was so cool.... yea.... sorry cj, kel... hehe.... we were like magnificent.... haha... some people will kill me for this.... but too bad jas and sham couldn't make it.... they had some problem with their cat or something.... can't remember....

then on sun, well, i didn't do much.... went to a malay wedding.... then visited my cousin in hospital.... man, i really really feel for her.... you could see that she was in so much pain.... she was clutching my aunt really really tightly.... and there were tears in her eyes.... and while we were there, the doc came and suggested that they do this certain procedure to ease her pain and also to get some samples of something for them to do their tests.... i really can't say what that procedure was cause it was simply the most horrible thing to happen to anybody.... at least that's what i think... all the while when they were doing the procedure on her, she was crying and shouting in pain.... it was really really loud that most of the other patients from the other wards could hear it.... it was heartwrenching..... my sis and i were juz looking at each other.... we could not do anything.... i swore if my sis wasn't there, i would have cried..... yes, it was that painful..... i swear i could almost feel her pain..... the procedure lasted for what seems to be an eternity.... in actual fact i think it took about 15 mins.... but it felt longer than that.... i was really glad when it was over.... wonder how she is now....

this morning i met up with zheng jie, boon hao and weiren for some soccer action.... haha... yea, it was cool.... we had a couple of challengers and it was so much fun.... i didn't realise that my scoring boots was back on... haha.... yea, i played pretty well today.... we were thrashing the other teams like nobody's business.... haha... i feel really good..... gosh, i'm crazy.... i can get so happy juz over a few games of soccer.... what only.... haha.... after soccer, we juz sat around for a while, juz talking..... they were sharing with me all their ns stories.... which was kinda cool..... i rarely get to see them nowadays.... what to do.... they're in ns and i'm busy with school.... man, i miss all my soccer kakis.... well, i'm stopping here for today peeps.... see ya!!


Riz lost himself at 8/09/2004 11:47:00 pm

0 comments
i had my napfa yesterday.... and guess what, i failed! haha.... its no surprise really.... i did pretty ok for everything except for those damn pull-ups.... but i'm pretty happy with my results.... turned out better than expected.... now for the gold award.... haha.... yea, that's my aim for the next napfa.... i'm gonna train harder now.... i've never felt so pumped up before.... i am going to be the fittest guy in my class!!!! yea, you heard me right!! you can all laugh all you want, but that's exactly what i'm aiming for.... six months baby, six months....

today david totally humiliated me in lab..... haha.... that bloody bugger..... i will get even with him one of these days.... he was in one of those moods when his "suaning" powers was at its peak.... and me being his lab partner, i had to endure his bloody nonsense for that 2 bloody hours.... and that girl i was talking bout whom i had not been speaking to due to the teasing from my great and lovely friends, was sitting in front of us as usual.... and that david had to say something so damn bloody idiotic and stupid to me regarding her..... and she's like right in front of us?!! that guy have no bloody sense.... he did this not once but twice.... man.... it was so so embarrasing for me.... i don think i can ever face her again.... she must really think that i'm a bloody freak.... haha.... well david, you better watch out man.... one of these days....

well, i juz found out bout the thing.... my friend came back to me with what i call mixed results.... its seems that there is something good going on for this something which would normally be a good thing..... but there's this something else which is blocking it that makes it really really hard for anything to come out of the whole thing.... its really complicated..... though things are much clearer and not that cloudy, it does seem that its not going to be easy either.... why must that something exist.... why must it come and block the whole thing.... its really sad.... now i'm starting to think that it might be a mistake for me to start all this.... sigh.... i'm gonna let nature take its cause.... if it happens, it happens.... that's life for you.... i'm juz gonna wait for awhile and see how things turn out.... take care peeps....


Riz lost himself at 8/05/2004 10:39:00 pm

0 comments
man, i'm so pissed now.... some people think that i can juz be pushed around.... i think i've juz been to nice to these two people..... especially this one idiot that i hate so much!! i've always put up with your nonsense but now, its enough.... i can't stand your bloody attitude anymore.... You think you're busy? well, i'm BUSY TOO YOU ASSHOLE!! and this is your job that i'm doing..... IT'S YOUR DAMN BLOODY JOB!!! and still you say you're busy.... you message me saying you decline..... what kind of crap is that.... and she has already said that its ok for you to take time off to do this.... but NO, you are still too busy and it is very very important not to miss a few mins of it..... you won die if you miss juz a few mins of it.... bloody bugger..... sorry people for this outburst..... i juz had to release my anger somewhere....

this is a different thing altogether.... i am still very very confused..... i'm trying not get my hopes up cause i know it will be a very hard fall if the hopes are dashed.... i thought i had a good chance.... but now thinking bout it, it may not be after all.... maybe its a mistake for me to through this again..... maybe i'm juz not ready..... maybe i'm juz not good enough.... so many questions and yet so few answers.... a friend has said she will help me check things out.... looking back at it, i'm not sure if letting her do it is such a good thing.... i don know what i'm scared of but that's what i am feeling..... this week will be crucial.... by the end of the week, i will probably know my fate..... sigh.... i'm praying.....


Riz lost himself at 8/01/2004 10:22:00 pm

0 comments